The battle of the squirrel

I’m too mean to pay out for insecticides on my allotment, and would rather encourage the wildlife to do their job properly, so every day I put out fresh food for the birds to get them used to coming to my plot.

Now I was aware that after I left the plot a squirrel would take the fat balls I put out for the birds, which is why I always put them out when I first arrive, to give the birds a chance to eat before I leave.

But the day before yesterday I was collecting some manure the council delivers, and as I walked back to my plot, there was a squirrel running towards me carrying a fat ball in its mouth!

I was incensed that the little thief hadn’t even had the courtesy to wait until I had finished for the day! So I dropped the wheelbarrow and gave chase, shouting at the top of my lungs “You drop that you little Bug**r!”.

Picture it, a fifty plus little old woman, chasing a small squirrel with a fat ball in its mouth that was bigger than its head!

I didn’t give up though, and eventually the squirrel dropped the ball, and I returned in time to meet my Husband as he arrived, proudly holding the ball up high, unable to contain the grin of victory! Hubby of course thought I was being silly, but then he hadn't seen the whole thing had he?

Now you would think the Squirrel would have learned its lesson, ‘wait until the old Witch has gone’, but did it like!

Yesterday I was working in the greenhouse, looked out, and there was the same Squirrel, at the top of the up ended sycamore tree I use as a feeding station, just about to climb down in to the hanging basket I put the bird balls in.

Well I wasn’t having that! So I charged out of the greenhouse, yelling at the top of my lungs again, and the Squirrel took flight, but only six feet away from the feeding station, it stopped and looked at me as if to say, “Now go back to the greenhouse, Woman.”

No way! I chased it completely off the plot before I went back to the greenhouse.

Not five minutes later I looked up, and guess what! The little blighter was back AGAIN!

So the chase was on again, but I do have to give the little critter full marks for tenacity.

Thankfully I think it got the message after that, because it didn’t come back until after I had locked the gates to leave. It must have been waiting in the holly tree watching, because it appeared as I snapped the padlock shut. But I don’t mind that, because the Squirrel has to eat too, I just want him to give the birds a chance as well.